These occasional posts will showcase a variety of articles which have caught my interest.
Anger causes so much suffering in our personal relationships and in our society. Its effects range from spats with our spouse to wars between nations. Our own anger causes suffering to others, often those we love most, and their anger causes us suffering. Anger and the wounds it causes reverberate throughout life.
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A relationship configuration that comes up now and then is that of mono/poly – and it can be challenging to those involved. Allena Gabosch (@ladysun333) shares an “a-ha” moment:
I have a couple different mono/poly clients and sometimes it’s hard finding a way to reach an accord between the two of them. One way is to highlight that sex, intimacy and relationship are not the same. To often we conflate all three into a sticky mess and when we suss it out, we discover a lot of fascinating nuances. Click to read more
NZ Content – Kawa and tikanga (customs and tranditions) are an important part of New Zealand culture. Moana Maniapoto (@moanatribe) sheds some light upon the occasional confusion:
The thing is, every hapū has their own specific tikanga, their own way of doing things. It’s accepted that the hau kainga of any particular marae set the kawa. If they want to open the proceedings for speeches in English, all good. It’s just that the first time you strike a different way of doing things, you do get a fright. Click to read more
Pronouns ahoy! They’re an understandably big deal for many people, and this post by John Scalzi (@scalzi) digs into why:
When someone asks you to refer to them by a particular set of pronouns and you’re reluctant to comply, are you being disrespectful? Yup! Self-identity is important, and refusing to accept someone else’s identity for your own reasons will be taken to mean that you dislike or disagree with their choices about who they are. And this is your right, but it means you’re saying that your choices in this regard are more important than the choices of the person who has to live with their own identity every single moment of their lives. Click to read more
I have rather a lot of body hair, and it’s been a long work in progress to accept myself with it. Rhianna Lennox shares her thoughts on it:
One of my co-workers exclaimed, “You’re so hairy, why don’t you shave?” and when I gave an abridged version of an explanation, she dismissed this with, “Oh well, maybe some men are into that,” which not only denied the possibility of me being anything other than heterosexual, but also put the locus of social power back into men’s hands. Why should men’s desires take precedence over my own? I’ve also been asked, “But what if a future sexual partner would prefer you to shave?” This suggests that the feelings of a potential partner about my body would be more important than my own feelings. Click to read more
Creative commons image from Pixabay.